She's outlived, three husbands, her ovaries, Jim the neighbour who she'd let fuck her up the arse for an evening down the social and her cat Elvis. Elvis's funeral was the only one she put a bra on for. 

Betty's motto is, ‘Home is where the tits swing free.'

The Betty

£1.70Price
  • PRODUCT INFO

    I'm made from bitchin' sustainably sourced 340gsm paper, which makes me thick in all the right ways. I'm on the smaller side, coming in at 105 x 148mm but don't let that fool you, I pack a punch. I also come with my own envelope cos I'm swish like that. 

  • RETURN & REFUND POLICY

    If you're not happy with your greeting card and would like to send it back for a refund, that would totally be ok and I wouldn't have hurt feelings at all, and I wouldn't cry certainly not into a large glass of wine, nope not one bit. You can return it by post within 30 days, for a full refund. For a kick-arse description of how to return products for a refund, head on over to FAQ

  • SHIPPING INFO

    Until I figure out how to strap rockets to penguins in posty uniforms without killing them, and any innocent bystanders I'm forced to use Royal Mail. Postage for UK address is £1, International £1.80 but if you buy more than one then not only will I love you for a long time but you'll only pay postage once. So stock up, when the apocalypse comes you'll be happy you had the foresight to stockpile birthday cards. 

  • Instagram Social Icon
  • Pinterest Social Icon
  • Wix Facebook page
  • Wix Twitter page
  • c-youtube