How To...Paint Cactus.

Release your inner bitchin' artist with this great creative blog series. Learn how to create, paint and draw your way to being a smug craftista. Simple How-tos with fun and easy (if slightly salty) instructions. This time we're painting cactus (that are so darn cute I want to press them into my flesh and become one with them) in three easy steps.


Pencil Case Supplies

Watercolour paper A Uni Pen, or any kind of black waterproof drawing pen. Watercolours

A paintbrush (a smaller one will work best) Colouring Pencils



Stage 1

If your Chunk Norris confident draw the cactus in pen, if you're not quite there yet lightly sketch them in pencil and go over in ink, rubbing out your practice lines. (If only we could have a dry run in life, right?) Remember my brave craft warriors this isn't the Sistine Chapel this is a cute little doodle. Don't worry if things aren't perfect or a bit wobbly, like my arse it just adds to the charm.



Stage 2


Get an old plate for your watercolours and mix them colours like a 90's trance DJ, then have fun with it, (unlike a 90's trance DJ). For the blending of darker coloured edges, paint the lighter colour first and while it's still wet take some dark paint and 'blob' it (totally a technical term) where you want the colour change. Remember a light touch will work best here but also Watercolours are so forgiving you could rob and leave them for dead and they'd still send you a Christmas card each year. I left little spots of white showing through here, coloured over the lines there, because I like the rustic charm of it, but feel free to colour to the edges. Square!


Stage 3


This is my favourite part! Once your painting has completely dried out (like my lady garden at the thought of Micheal Gove, *shudder*) get your colouring pencils and start 'doodling' patterns onto the pots. Of course, this is just an extra flourish but what is life without them eh? Two stars at best.


There you have it! We made art

You feel that warm squidgy feeling inside? That's what creation feels like. We are masters of pen and paint, deities amongst peasants, GODS! Feel my wrath! Wait wrong emotion. Feel my power! Nope wrong again. It's on the tip of my tongue, feel...my...?! Sandwiches... Screw it you get the idea. I would love to see your cactus creations (not a euphemism, no prick pics) so head on over to Twitter and tag the shit out me. I'm also technically on Instagram but the social norms there confuse me, like life really.