So what's the mamma jammer deal with a year of art?
It's all about inspiration and a love of art. I create five pieces a week, one of which I'll show you how to do. This week's 'How To...' is some Japanese style watercolour flowers. We've also got body parts on socks and a sun that's perhaps being all kinds of inappropriate.
I'm taking my tasks from the fabulous artist and art author Lorna Scobie book.
Task; Colour in the leaves
God damn, it's hot... But let's crack this mother with a Japanese style flower painting. Simple to do, which is great because I'm in real danger of doing a Wicked Witch of the West all over my carpets.
Pencil Case Supplies
Different sized brushes
First things first: practice. Getting a feel for how to create the individual elements of your painting. There's a lot of wrist flicking with these bad boys, so get your camp on and be brave. Always start at the stem of your flower and end the flick at the tip. Relax, a light touch works well, as does irregular 'filling in' a spot of white here, and an odd-shaped leaf there, adds to the effect, so don't be perfect. Let your painting breathe.
Start with the paler bigger shape first and just slap them on.
Try and create the delicate little flicks, but don't panic if you make a mistake, or they don't look quite the same: the layers, later on, cover many sins. Remember to have them facing different directions, as it will help create an organic feel to the painting. Let it dry.
We're going to add the yellow stems (Two) now let them dry and hit the page with the darker green leaves (Three). Remember remember remember a light free form style of painting works best for this. Flicks and fun. Use your practice sheet to get them right first them place them on your page.
Same as above but with the leaves (Four and Five). Always work top of the page to the bottom, so as not to smudge your paint. Once you have all your big leaves on the page, take your smallest elements (six and seven) and add them into the spaces with too much white. Don't worry about overlapping, in fact, it's encouraged. Nature doesn't play in straight lines, so neither are we.
Task: Draw something outside today, where people can see you.
Tuesday Not that I don't love being watched by weirdos or watching people like a weirdo, a freak show circle jerk if you will, but the idea of scraping a mask over the last two holes in my body not sweating an unholy reservoir, is a big no from me. So I'm going to knock out a cartoon character, in the dark, in my pants. Because fuck you sun.
Meet Dr Skid.
Missing: One eye One arm
She misses her arm most, because it had a tattoo on it that was created by the Great Armando. Armando died in a silicon chip fire not long after and so there's no getting that back.
Task: Draw the rays of light from the sun.
For the love of everything good in the world won't this heat end. I think my tits have turned into two sad fried eggs, and I'm the wrong side of 35, they weren't doing great before. Thinking of fried eggs...
Task: Add patterns to the socks
Praise be to clouds. The hot weather, along with my pink face and enough heat lumps to re-write war and peace in braille have gone. I now look human rather than some plague victim from the lower levels of hell. To the task at hand, I'm making it odd by limiting my sock patterns to body bits, teeth, bones, and blood because socks play a vital roll in helping straight middle-aged men expresses themselves.
Task: Fill the page with Blue things
I got a new notebook this week, and I don't mind admitting it's sexual—one hundred thirty-two pages of premium 175gm paper, thick in all the right places. I'm writing this in the Marks and Spencer's sexy voice over because there are notebooks and then there's Premium spaff your pants notebooks.
Mixed media fun time with this one, paint, pencil colours and ink we've got it all.
That's it folks
... Join me next Friday where I tackle our rainbows, faces, and zig zags. Head on over to Twitter and tag me any arty creations you've made, I love to see how other people engage with the tasks. I'm also on the old Instagram but I tend to get confused and make all the kids embarrassed if I wander around in there too much.
If you can't wait until next week for more art, here is where it all began; Week 1.